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"It is what it is" should be a SWEAR word!

I have often heard people say "it is what it is". When I hear this, I immediately wonder what that means for them. Does it mean that they truly don't see how things could change for the better? Because honestly, when it's said, it's most often said with a negative disposition to a situation, relationship or lifestyle, meaning, nothing will ever change so I might as well get used to it.

That needs to change! Life is not meant to be lived "as is". There are plenty of opportunities for us to level up in any situation, relationship or lifestyle to create a better opportunity or connection. We must not consign ourselves to a limited understanding that things won't or can't get better.

Let me share some examples that have come across my conversations with others that help prove that it's not an "as is" life.

Often when someone feels like their health is out of control, they have the tendency to exclaim "it runs in my family to have diabetes, be overweight, suffer from constant fatigue or depression". While I'm not discrediting the proof that some diseases or illnesses can be hereditary, choices can be made to enjoy your quality of life to the best that it can be if struggling with an incurable illness.

A friend of mine has breast cancer and every time I see her with her adorable head wrap on, she has a smile on her face and leans into her treatments. She doesn't throw her hands up in frustration, but finds the good to notice in such a situation.

I also have a friend who's mother has lived with the limited belief that she was too overweight to make the necessary efforts to lose the needed weight to experience greater health and ability to enjoy activities with her family. She has recently made the change, through the help of my friends example, to push into the discomfort that inevitably comes from the hard work necessary to make the impact-filled change. She has found greater joy in losing the limited mindset that "it is what it is". I am grateful for the example of these two women to be a driving force for the world that change in our attitudes, thus changing the enjoyment of our lives is possible.

Marriages and families are constantly under attack with pornography on the rise, same sex attraction becoming a struggle and an overall "if I'm not happy then I'll just terminate this contract" mentality. Some people stay in marriages with the hope of changing someone else, when they need to focus on changing themselves. Some stay in marriages out of fear; fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of abuse if leaving. No marriage should ever be seen as "as is". We should always be seeking to better ourselves and serve as an example to our spouse/family that life is meant to strive harder for to obtain the joy of family togetherness. Someone close to me lived life too long with the "it is what it is" mentality regarding her marriage not realizing the toxicity it was causing all around her, mainly herself to feel. Through much reflection and honest seeking, she made the choice to leave a long marital relationship and find greater joy in a future marriage that is beyond "good as it gets". She has found joy in the togetherness of someone who seeks for her happiness through bettering himself. I'm a STRONG marriage advocate, I'm also an advocate of growth. If your marriage feels like "it is what it is", please seek help!

Few things in this world truly warrant the phrase "it is what it is." The change of our attitude towards the worst possible situations/circumstances or loses can help us see that there's more joy to be experienced in this life than we allow ourselves to feel during these difficult seasons of our lives.


Don't be found thinking or saying "it is what it is" because that statement metaphorically implies that your hands are tied in changing the outcome.


While we may not be able to change the choices of others, our direct surroundings or immediate health concerns of others or ourselves, we can change our attitude to become one filled with hope and optimism.

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