In my tried and tested opinion, COMPARISON is the #1 problem we face when choosing to change our lives for the better. We think "oh I'll never be like that person..... or I can never be as good at "" as so and so." And the truth is,
You'll never be like anyone else, and that's a gift!
When you choose to change for the better, you are striving to become your best self, regardless of what your neighbor, your friends or your family is doing.
I've struggled most of my life with competition, which is a form of comparison. Being raised as an only child, my voice often became overruling as a way to be heard. I felt that if I could win the attention through my voice, I could get what I wanted. After awhile, my family and friends caught on and wouldn't have me getting attention that way, so I had to find other ways.
As I got older, in my teenage years, I struggled to make friends. I was/still am at times, viewed as "perfect" partly because I have high expectations for myself and others to be their best. My competition started with trying to be funny, because all the funny people got the attention that I desperately wanted. That led into swearing to be seen as "cool". It took a very short time for me to realize that that was NOT the way that I wanted attention and corrected my course.
Then the marital beginnings and children started coming along. UGH! That was the height of my competition with myself as I struggled to understand how to be the best wife and mother. I found myself attending playdates for my children and groups dates with my husband only leaving feeling like I needed to step it up. I needed to work on my facial expressions to convey exactly what I was feeling. I needed to stop trying to dress my children in perfect outfits when it stressed me when they would get dirty. I needed to stop feeling like my husband was going to find someone more attractive than my post baby pooch and emotions. I needed to be ME!
I'm naturally blessed with the ability to be a positive 'game talker" to myself. I rarely beat myself up about poor choices or mistakes that I've made, but see it as an opportunity to compete with myself to become better. Competition can be a healthy bout of training yourself to be the best version of you possible in any given situation, but COMPARISON never works out for anyone.
When you compare and keep it to yourself, you degrading how far you've come to be who you are today, and that's the gift of life itself! We are who we are because of the challenges and obstacles we've had to overcome. When you compare and whine about it to others, it creates a sense of comparison in them as well, and then you become the dark cloud no one wants to be around.
COMPETE with yourself EVERYDAY! Hold yourself to a higher version each day. Stop comparing yourself to others and feeling like you have to keep silent about your accomplishments in fear that others are comparing themselves to you.
How will you COMPETE today? I'm competing with my gag reflex and working on trying something new. I'm going to go make some "sticky rice peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" and hope to eat them without gagging :)